Goodbye Blogspot!

Well, the time has come for us as a team to seek greener pastures. We've done some fine work here at blogspot, and established the fact that we CAN blog in an entertaining, informative, and engaging fashion.

Thanks to all of you, our confidence is at an all time high.

So we're not fading softly into that good night. Rather we are moving to a better forum.

You can find
A Modest Collection of Thoughts (A.M.C.O.T.) over at

http://www.amcotblog.wordpress.com

Don't miss nuthin!

Pedro Martinez and Juan Marichal: Cockfight

PEDRO: So Marcelino's going to give me back my DVD's ?
JUAN: Well, he will if Little Pedro Martinez wins the cockfight.
PEDRO: Great! What?
JUAN: Well, Marcelino, he has cockfights in the back of his store.
PEDRO: Ah ha...
JUAN: So, he says if Little Pedro Martinez wins, you'll get your DVD's back.
PEDRO: Juan, cockfighting is illegal.
JUAN: Only in The United States.
PEDRO: It's inhumane!
JUAN: No, Pedro, it's not what you think it is.
PEDRO: It's two roosters peckin' at each other!
JUAN: What?
PEDRO: Yeah!
JUAN: Well, I thought they wore gloves and helmets, you know, like "American Gladiators."
PEDRO: No Juan, Little Pedro could get hurt.
JUAN: Well, I left him with Marcelino!
:::Pedro shrugs and holds his hands out:::
JUAN: My Little Pedro!
:::Runs out of the room:::

(I went to Haiti and all I got was 4 stitches and a shitload of mosquito bites.)

One pound of marijuana in Haiti: $30 USD.


One gram of cocaine in Haiti (10x more potent than anything that touches American soil): $5 USD.


Ransom collected the last time my boy was kidnapped in Haiti: $40 USD (and a boombox).


Living in a country where the most pressing national issue is determining the exact chemical cocktail that caused the death of one idiot actor: Priceless.

It is indeed Super Tuesday....so keep this in mind...

Vote or Die, bitches!.....take that....take that

Super Tuesday

My fellow Americans! Get out there today and do your #1 job as citizens of the greatest country in the world!

Today is the day! Don't act like a hippy, you can make a difference (unless you live in new york, if you do you're vote doesn't matter because this state will go to the democratic nominee).

Let's start with a brief run down of each of the candidates.

Hillary Clinton

This lil' lady is the wife of our nation's first black president, Bill Clinton. She has been working within the system ever since, and is now poised to grasp the leadership reigns on her own.

One of Hil's biggest issues is her desire to get our country to accept universal health care, a policy that would greatly enhance the quality of life for everyone (except the most wealthiest) in the good ole US of A!

But let us not forget that Hillary voted for the war in Iraq!

Barack Obama

He's a cool fellow who is all about eliciting positive change in our country. To his credit, Obeezy voted against the war in Iraq, and has since focused on increasing our energy independence (HUGE) and also on establishing universal health care.

Obama is a smoker, I hope he smokes Newports, cuz they are easily the coolest ciggs. Many have also questioned his experience, as he is young and a relatively newbie in the political field. But I think the experience thing is an overblown load of crap.

He also bears a decent resemblance to my friend Kenny! And that is tre' cool.

John McCain

This dude is a real life fucking Chuck Norris. During the Vietnam War his plane was shot down during his 23rd bombing run. He survived the crash and was captured by the enemy where he endured five and a half years of torture in a prison camp. During his internment, he had a watch that he planned on passing on to his son. To keep it from being confiscated, he hid it...in his ass...wait that might've been Pulp Fiction.

McCain is commonly viewed as one of the more moderate Republican. He is conservative on many traditional Republican issues (health care, abortion) but has been known to be liberal on many others (education, gun control).

Do be aware that McCain is definitely a Hawk (you would be too if the Vietnamese poked you with sticks for 5 years!) and is also a ripe 71 yrs of age (he would be DEAD by the end of an 8yr term). Those are things to keep in mind when voting.

Mitt Romney

Mitt Romney was once the Governor of Massachusetts, a piece of shit state that until recently was a cursed as the princess on Shrek. He built a highway there that from all accounts was a disaster and collapsed like 12 hours after being completed.

Also, Romney is a Mormon, and as we know, Mormon's eat babies and marry thousands of women at a time.

Enough silliness, Mitt Romney has been known to waffle on the issue of abortion. That's not the worst thing in the world though, as he has demonstrated a strong stance on tougher gun control laws and also is determined to increase legal immigration, while identifying and databasing the nation's illegal immigrants.

Plus his handsome face seems to have been chiseled out of solid granite.

In the end, all that is really important is that you execute your right to play a part in the process of selecting our nation's leaders. Leave the cynicism at home, get out there, educate yourself, and align yourself with the person whom you feel best suits your needs and ideals.

So if you can tear yourself away from the Giants' victory parade (pictured above) for a moment. Get out there and vote! And don't let anything (pictured below) stand in your way!

Random Celebrity Endorsement

"I love A.M.C.O.T! During filming for Big Trouble in Little China I turned to Kurt Russell and I said 'Kurt, you know what we need? A place to go where we can read about news, politics, entertainment, sports, and opinions with a humorous flair. A modest little place filled with thoughts'....22 years later that place finally exists!" - Al Leong (Actor, Stuntman, & Mustache Aficionado)

2007 New York Giants: World Champions!!!!!!

Congratulations to the 2007 New York Giants. Six years ago this team was declared all but dead. Brandon Jacobs was banged up, Plaxico Burress looked like he would need an entire offseason to recover his wheels, and Eli Manning looked lost as usual.

Somewhere, Tiki Barber chuckled.

Fast forward to Feb 3rd 2008 and the New York Giants have been crowned the champs of the NFL. Tom Brady, Bill Belichek, Randy Moss, and the rest of the 2007 New England Patriots have been denied their shot at history (cue champagne toast).

So to all of those New York Giants fans out there, congratulations!

12 days till pitchers and catchers!

Just a little something to get you in the mood this weekend....

That guy is the man...watch how those "native american" chicks are all over his jock...

Mild Throwback: R. Kelly "Real Talk"

This is very old, well not very old, but pretty old. However, after the Berman video today I was trying to remember what was the last video I had watched so many times in one day. This was the winner.





A good question to ask is how far this sets black people back.

Wooooooo!

Chris Berman Loses It

Courtesy of Deadspin

Retro Video Game Review: Paperboy

Justice...Thine name is Paperboy

1988 was the year that the epic story of the Paperboy was finally immortalized in all it's digital glory for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Developed by Atari and released for various game consoles in the 80's, the NES version was by far the most popular. Paperboy allowed kids to take command of the dangerous world that is the life of a paperboy. The object of the game was to deliver papers to all the subscribers and vandalize the non-subscribers (teaching them a valuable lesson that continuing to not subscribe to the paper would leave them open to daily attacks) while avoiding the dangerous conditions of the street. If you damaged a subscribers house they would immedietly cancel their subscription. The only way to win them back was by impressing the neighborhood with a perfect route of 100% delivery accuracy (or pitching a perfect game as the local paperboys refer to it, ask one the next time you see him.. they'll tell you)

The world of the Paperboy was littered with danger though. From remote control cars to dogs the streets where not safe for the Paperboy. Some of the other threats to your route included crazy women with knives, bees, fire hydrants, break dancers (the windmill is a deadly weapon a paperboy must avoid at all costs), cars, skateboarders, tricyclists, construction workers, drunks, a mini tornado, the Grim Reaper, and the most dangerous of them all.......curbs. Once faced with a curb the Paperboy would crumble into a heap on the sidewalk never to be seen again (unless you had more lives then you would just restart the level).

The best part of the game was at the end of each day's routes the town you lived in had a convienient training course where you would leap off ramps, avoid sliding doors, and test your paper throwing acccuary with various hoops. A successful run would give you extra papers for the next days route as well as bonus points and extra lives.

The Paperboy's own brand of justice for those who chose not to subscribe to the paper was brutal and efficient. Broken windows were the least of their problems once the Paperboy was done with them. People would be forced to subscribe just to rid themselves of the daily torture that the paperboy would rain upon them. The Paperboy was extremely serious about his job....deadly serious.

One of the things I always questioned as a kid was when the Paperboy would collide with an object or a person, who he actually die or was he just injured? It would be alot more exciting if a poorly controlled remote control car operated by an 8 year old could actually kill a paperboy. Either way Paperboy was an exciting game that finally gave credit to the little guy.....the Paperboy.

Backcourt Violations

(Caption: Yes I posted about the GSW game just so I could use this outstanding picture)

Minnesota 83, Chicago 67

I wan't to propose a new rule. If you can't score at least 70 points in a game, you automatically start the next game down 15 points. It's embarrassing that an NBA team could only score 67 points in a game. Never mind the fact they were playing an NBA Junior Varsity squad last night. Chicago needs to make a trade right now. Gut the team, don't inflate the value of Deng and Gordon.

Cleveland 84, Portland 83

I think Brandon Roy is an excellent basketball player. But LeBron James is the best basketball player in the NBA. Fools use the Kobe argument (save it). Bron Bron hit the game winner with 0.9 on the clock.

Golden State 116, New Orleans 103

Another gem from Chris Paul (MVP!), but when Bdavis and Stephen Jackson want to win a game, they are going to win said game. Hopefully the addition of notorious malcontent Chris Webber won't hurt them too much. 4 Hornets players put up double doubles, and they still come out with a loss. Can someone explain what GSW needs Webber for?

Utah 100, New York 89

You know things are bad when you lose two starters (Eddy Curry and Quentin Richardson) to the infamous "flu-like symptoms" and thats the main reason this game was closer than it should have been. You should also realize that any time I have the chance to poke a stick at the dead, lifeless hump that is the New York Knicks, I'm going to do it.

The Bastard Children of Hip Hop Vol 2 - Memphis Bleek

Making Easy Money Pimping Hoes In Style...Memphis Bleek. What in god's name? This entry really doesn't even require much more information. Bleek first appeared on Jay Z's premier album Reasonable Doubt, on the acclaimed track Coming of Age. Bleek set fire to the track, providing the perfect immature foil to Hov's more mature, dollar induced style of hustling. Recognizing the potential in the youngin' Hov stepped down from his narcotics founded pedestal to school the young up and comer. Berating him to focus on business and not bling, Bleek seemed to be taking a lesson not only on how to survive and thrive on the streets, but also as an artist.

Somewhere between then and now that message was lost.

Bleek's career has been an pointless mish-mash of forgettable commercial tracks interspersed with filler songs. In fact, on each of Bleek's four solo projects, the stand out verses came from guest artists. From Hov's verse on The Coming to the solo Jay Z track Dear Summer on 534, Bleek has been kept in the house more than Nas as a youth.

For some reason I picture Bleek sitting in one of Hov's various cribs, constantly rolling up like the weakest link in Beanie's crew in State Property I. If Jay Z had a bad day, I'm sure he struck out at Bleek on more than one occasion.

But nonetheless, Memphis Bleek has managed to avoid the fate of artists like Amil and Sauce Money, maybe due to his willingness to remain at 5'4" his entire life.

Coming of Age f Memphis Bleek

I'm out here slingin bringin the drama, tryin to come up
in the game and add a couple of dollar signs to my name
I'm out here servin disturbin the peace, life could be better
like my man reclined in plush leather seats
He's sellin weight, I'm sellin eight... balls
sixteen tryin to graduate to pushin quarters y'all
I ain't gon' sweat him I'ma let him come to me
If he give me the nod then these niggaz gon' see
I'm tired of bein out here round the clock
and breakin day, and chasin crackers up the block for my pay
I'm stayin fresh, so chickens check
I'm tryin to step up to the next level, pushin Vettes to the Jets
Diamonds reflect from the sun, directly in your equilibirum
and stunned I'm waitin for my day to come
I got the urge, to splurge, I don't wanna lifetime sentence
just give me the word

Chorus

[JZ] Hey fella I been watchin you clockin
[MB] Who me holdin down this block it ain't nothin
   You the man nigga now stop frontin
[JZ] Hahahh I like your style
[MB] Nah, I like YO' style
[JZ] Let's drive around awhile
[MB] Cool nigga
[JZ] Here's a thou'
[MB] A G?  I ride witchu for free
   I want the longterm riches and bitches
[JZ] Have it all; now listen to me
   You let them other niggaz get the name, skip the fame
   Ten thou' or a hundred G keep yo' shit the same
[MB] On the low?
[JZ] Yeah, the only way to blow
   You let your shit bubble quietly
[MB] AND THEN YOU BLOW!
[JZ] Hey keep your cool
   The only way to peep a fool is let him show his hand
   Then you play your cards
[MB] Then he through dealin I understand
[JZ] Don't blow your dough on hotties
[MB] The only thing I got in this world is my word and my nuts
   and won't break em for nobody!
[JZ] Hah, I like resume, pick a day, you can start
[MB] From now until death do us part...

Backcourt Violations

You'll take it when I give it to you, and like it.

Washington 108, Toronto 104, OT

So last year, Greg Ruffin inexplicably tossed the ball skyward with about 3 seconds remaining in the game Wizards leading by 3. Figuring a win was in the bag, he tossed the ball straight up to try to kill the clock. Sadly he didn't throw the ball high enough. Morris Peterson of the Raptors nabbed the ball out of mid air, and nailed a 3 pointer at the buzzer to send the game into an improbable OT. The Wizards were pretty much dead in the water at that point, and pretty much got blown out of overtime. Fast forward to last night. Wizards up 3, 1.8 seconds left on the clock, Toronto inbounding on Wizards half. Anthony Parker who to date is still only famous for being Candace Parker's older brother nails a 3 pointer off a curl play with two people in his face, at the buzzer. Somehow even without Caron Butler, they managed to hang on in overtime this time around. Who wants to play that Toronto team in the playoffs?

Boston 117, Miami 87

Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen didn't play. Paul Pierce scored 7 points. AND THE HEAT STILL LOST BY 30!! If there was ever an argument for relegation to be brought to American professional sports, the Heat would be right in that argument. That's not an NBA team right now.

Seattle 88, San Antonio 85

No Tony Parker = bad loss to terrible team. Rookie wunderkind Kevin Durant hit the game winner (his second this season) and the Spurs took a loss. Seems they are signing Damon Stoudamire (how did Boston not make a run there) so Parker is probably more injured than they are letting on.

A break from rampant Mets fanboy-ism*

Don't look up, don't ever look up...




*Could be fake, but I don't care.

The Monster is out of the cage!

Credit: Beerleaguer.com for the picture

Live on Location from the Superbowl *

*Complete and utter falsehood

So yesterday was the much vaunted Superbowl media day. Years ago when it was just becoming cool to send one or two whack jobs down there to break up the monotony of beat reporters asking players the same questions they got asked every other week, it felt innovative. It was funny to see the people who didn't normally cover football, ask players non-football questions. Now its just a mockery. The stories aren't funny or fun. Everyone who goes bitches and moans about it now. I mean shit, Bill Simmons doesn't even go out there anymore and it's an event thats practically created for people like him.

You'd have a much more interesting time just stalking parties to see who ends up falling over drunk, or find out what psuedo-celeb is going to cheat on their spouse that night. Preferably, I'd rather attend NBA All-Star Weekend.


At least INTERESTING things happen there.

The Epic Finale

----------------
Now playing: Juelz Santana - S.A.N.T.A.N.A.
via FoxyTunes

Are you not entertained!!!!! Spaniard Spaniard! Spaniard!!!!!

Just in case you have been living under a rock for the past three hours or so. I would like to announce that the New York Mets have acquired LHP Johan Santana from the Twins for a bevy of minor league talent. The Mets were able to keep their top prospect, however, and additionally gave up NO major league ready talent.

I will be unbearable for the next 300 days or so...I have already begun to drink the blood of virgins.

The New York Mets' newest acquisition, Johan Santana,
shown in the midst of his offseason training regiment.

A long time ago...

...I liked Vince Carter. This video epitomizes why:




Of Note:

• Dunk victim: 7'2" Frederic Weis
• Dunk Took place during the 2000 Summer Olympics
• Was Dubbed the "le dunk de la mort" ("the Dunk of Death") in the French Press
• Weis was selected 15th overall in the 1999 NBA Draft by, you guessed it, the New York Knicks. He never played a minute in the NBA, and I'm convinced he never came over out of intense shame.