Bionic Commando ReArmed: Preview

Nathan Spencer is the Bionic Commando

Super Joe is back. But this time they gave him the queer ass name of Nathan Spencer. His name was Super Joe, and he touched my soul. He is as responsible for my multiple versions of substance abuse, addiction to meaningless distracting pursuits, and absolute insensitivity towards various forms of violence, racism, sexism, fascism, and iz-ism.

But enough of that. In Bionic Commando you play as a lone soldier taking on an army (called the Badds in the 80s). With a gun in one hand and a coiled arm composed of the most modern technologies, you are a one man shit kicking crew. You go in and take names.

But now it's 2008, and what was cool on the NES ain't gonna fly. As a result, we've got a suped up, albeit 2D, version of the original game. The arm has extra abilities, such as the ability to tear an enemy's cover away from him. The guns are more plentiful and pack that much more of a punch. And the action is every bit as fast and furious as its always been. Oh and check out the visuals. 2D has never looked more betterer.

Bionic Commando ReArmed is going to be available for download on both XBox Live and the Playstation Network. In addition to this reworked 2d model of the game, there is a full on 3d version of the game on the way as well.

Anyway, check out the video for a nice trailer.


Note: Capcom will make the Devil May Cry 4 Demo available for download tmrw Jan 24th on XBL and PSN. According to the article on ign.com the demo will show off several areas from the final game, a tutorial on using new character Nero's powers, and culminate in a final boss battle against Berial.

Dante,
the main character of the Devil May Cry franchise,
and an all around bad ass.

Part 3 of an 8 part series: Inanimate objects I would like to have sex with

Whassa matter, Eli? Wondering why you made my list? You’re the most inanimate person alive today… but I love you more than I could ever express.

You will never hold my heart like Chad does, but man, that guy is so full of life. You, my friend, are a walking robot. After winning the NFC Championship game, you plodded along the field searching for the only person you wanted in your arms after the game… the punter.

And, damn… that post-game interview. You reacted like you just won a Jeff Spicoli
Look-a-like contest… “I-am-glad. No-I-am-very-happy. Ha. This-is-me-happy. We-are-going-to-the-Super-Bowl.”

So, why do I love him so much? Good question.



I think because he gets crapped on so much. He’s a very good quarterback and seems to be a very good guy… yet, he gets so much crap. Uncalled for. He’s the man.

And anybody who can score a chick like this, with the personality of a radar gun has to be good in the sack…



…d$’s coming Eli… Hide your heart, bro…

Ingrid, Thank you for restoring my faith in music...

In my life I’ve really only had three things in my life I can truly call my own; my sports fandom, my writing and poetry & my musical tastes. This blog is about the last on the list.

My first true memory was when I was around 8 or 9 years old, when I bought Billy Joel’s new CD “River of Dreams.” It was momentous for me in a million ways, but the biggest part of it was that I, at least in my own head, was part of the music. …I still am.

It’s funny, in a lot of ways, I’m not the same person I was, even as recently as a year ago, but music has the power to bring me to a place better than myself. For a decade, Billy Joel’s music helped me survive. His music and lyrics allowed me to live a life that otherwise might have ended, purely of stress and pain alone.

After graduating high school, I started to get into this acoustic pop artist names John Mayer. I loved “Why Georgia”, “St. Patrick’s Day”, “No Such Thing.” …hell, I still do, but when Heavier Things came out in October 2003, my life changed.

Billy Joel was the music of my life up to that point, having the strength to get through the toughness of the world.
John Mayer wrote the words of mid-20’s plight perfectly… and I was hooked. In my biased opinion, I believe Heavier Things presents a beautiful transition from the man John Mayer was to the man he wants, and knows, he can be.




In a lot of ways, I lived that transition myself.

For the past few months, I’ve been enamored, in more ways than one, with an emerging artist: Ingrid Michaelson. Everything with her clicks, which I think is awesome. I saw her open for Josh Radin and Schuyler Fisk 12 months ago, but in her short set, she stole the show.






She’s beautiful, witty, dorky, talented… self-actualized.

It’s no surprise that her music came into my life at this point. I am, and have almost become, the best of who I am. I’m achieving my self-actualization and it’s a beautiful thing.

Back to Ingrid… her words are simple and poignant, but incredible powerful. I’m jealous of her in a lot of ways. I know I’m a badass writer, but I can be long-winded and sticky in a lot of ways… this post included…

She’s the complete opposite of who I am as a writer, which is why I think I love her music and words as much as I do.

She has the goods to make it and her star is rocketing right now. At Starbucks today, they played one of her songs "Breakable", which I don't think has been getting airplay... and I'm hoping that it does. It's an incredibly well-crafted song and even inspired my own poem "Unbreakable" ... I am a dork.

Nonetheless...

Music is a huge part of my life… more so than almost everyone’s (and I don’t mean that to be condescending, it’s the simple truth…). I’m lucky to be fans of incredible artists such as Elvis Costello, Green Day, James Taylor, Weezer, Cary Brother, Brandi Carlile, and so on.

I’m just lucky to have three great artists that I can call my favorite… One ship is fading, one is in the stars, and one is raising the bar… and I hope I’ll be lucky enough to be along for the ride as long as I can.

TJ, Just keep me where the light is…

Nothing but love.

R.I.P. Heath Ledger

Heath Ledger, 28 years of age, was found dead in a Manhattan apartment today.


NEW YORK - A New York Police Department spokesman says the actor Heath Ledger has been found dead at a downtown Manhattan residence.

According to TMZ.com, Ledger, 28, was found dead in his bed in one of his residences in Soho by his housekeeper at 3:35 p.m. ET Tuesday.

The actor has a two-year-old daughter with former fiancee Michelle Williams. Ledger was set to play the Joker in the upcoming Batman film "The Dark Knight." He received an Academy Award nomination for his work in "Brokeback Mountain." original story posted by MNBC.com

My inside Source at the NYPD said pills were found next to his bed... More to come later!

Farewell Corner Boys

3.1 million

Number of people from age 12 to 25 who have used over-the-counter cough and cold medicines to get high

140

Number of nonprescription medications that contain the cough suppressant DXM, which in high doses acts as a dissociative hallucinogenic drug

Source: Time Magazine

Who needs the corner boys when you can get your legal fix at Rite Aid!

A spoon fill a day will make that high stay, so grab that Tussin and get your drink on today!

2 Girls 1 Cup: Kermit the Frog's Take

Cleophus: Kermit I want your reaction on this clip I am about to show you.
Kermit: What type of clip?
Cleophus: (((Short Pause))) Its about recycling and sharing... let my assistant set you up, we will type in the website for you and film your reaction.
Kermit: Ok lets do it!




Cleophus: What did you think!
Kermit: YOU SICK BASTARD!

Bill Has a Dream!

Bill Clinton nods off during Martin Luther King III's speech at his father's memorial service. This is simply further evidence that Bubba was the first black president, they served ribs at the pre-service banquet.