Thursday, January 17, 2008

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man-iac

Though it be a bit late, I'd like to provide a background to this Motley crew of contributors that I hope to have titillate, excite, amuse, sadden, and inform you from now until the rapture cometh.


Born in the African Savanah, Mr. IMHO first traveled to America on a ship full of hostile, but small European immigrants.

Upon arriving in the states, he immediately took up residence in the sewers of New York City, where he came into contact with four small turtles and a green vial of liquid that transformed him into the stunning beauty that you see here.

Having decided to cease fighting against his irreversible sexy curse, Mr. IMHO gathered a small group of miscreants whose genius is only outweighed by the sheer immensity of their reproductive organs, yes even the ladies.

Not fashioned as a leader in any respect, Mr. IMHO (In My Humble Opinion) has decided to dedicate his life to the dissemination of crucial, and not so crucial information.

Below we have footage of the birth of Mr. IMHO


Having long ago decided to either destroy the corrupt world around her, or die trying, this vegetable murdering, gun toting, beauty shoots from the hip and never misses.

Her decision to eat only that which has never had blood pumped through its veins stems from witnessing as a child the horrible mutilation of her family at the hands of a rogue gang of broccolis.

Vegannramember's mother, moments
after her senseless murder.
When will we learn?
After gaining revenge, the young militant finally settled in the streets of New York City. Being a poor law student forced her to relocate to the sewers where she became an acquaintance of Mr. IMHO. The rest is history.


Having emerged from the d$Manor after a twelve year hiatus, d$ was shocked at the state of the world around him. Determined to bleed this land for all it was worth, d$ has set out on a highlander journey of adventure and excitement, leaving his high profile,
socialite existence behind him.

d$ has transcended the needs and wants of a normal person, becoming more powerful than one could ever imagine, relinquishing the use of his body to become a being of pure energy.

d$ answers to a higher power. Higher than your boss, higher than your wife, higher than your daddy. His lord and savior, Tom Jones, often requires a sacrifice. Do not be surprised to see d$ chewing on young, pink, and bald flesh of #& year old hooch. His Lord & Savior demands it.

The Hitman

Born into the world as Chris Childs in the late 1960's this college basketball phenom attended Boise St University, Mordor campus, where he majored in heavy machinery and played basketball. After only six years of playing basketball, he left Mordor and entered the NBA draft.

After 11 years of inactivity, mostly spent under-dressed in a luxury suite. He was subbed into a game against the LA Lakers. Full of electricity and energy, Childs ran directly to young phenom Kobe Bryant and double tapped him on the chin. Kobe has been known to still rub the spot gingerly.

After being tortured for some time by David Stern, Childs vanished into the Bolivian rainforest, along with the antagonist from James Bond: American Negro.

The pristine Bolivian rainforest.

Several years after his disappearance, he re-emerged from the wilderness, a dangerous and changed man. The Hitman was born.

Shady Paz

Look at that bling. Look at that hair. God this man makes my nipples hard...and I'm not even a homo. I once saw Shady Paz take candy from a baby. When the baby began to sob, Paz struck the baby across the face with the back of his hand. He was wearing the same ring that Daryl Strawberry used on his ex-wife.

The baby cried louder, until Shady raised an eyebrow. Then the baby stopped crying. The baby apologized for crying. The baby gave Shady his mother's phone number....

His mother was eternally grateful.

Here we have some footage of Shady Paz during his vacation to Russia


This is his house, acquired with a first time home owner's loan. He lives inside. He enjoys his time inside. He keeps it clean. I am envious.

This sport's reporter has a knack for getting the inside scoop on things....more on this later.

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