Monday, January 21, 2008

Title: Going to the Knicks Vs. Wizards Game

By: Dwayne “Cleophus” Wayne

6:35 – Cleophus – Walks into his house, the smell of dinner fills the air. Ahhh the life, a cold beer and hot dinner waiting for him on the table. Wait, why isn’t she wearing lingerie? 1 deduction point!

6:36 – Telemundo – your dinner’s ready, hurry up and eat so you can get to the game. You can’t be late, Ol’ G will get mad.

6:41 – Cleophus – devours food like a Hoover.

*Check List*

Fire Isiah Shirt – Check

Video Camera – Check

Sodas to sneak into the Garden to save money – Check.

6:43 – Ol’ G calls, where are you, HURRY UP!

6:44 – Cleophus – turns to Telemundo, babe I forgot I am going to be late, going to hang out with the fellas after the game. Closes door.

6:44 – Telemundo – Muffled curse words in Spanish… (((Cleophus will sleep with one eye open tonight))))

6:50 Cleophus and Ol’ G get on the A train... a Mexican is playing a blues song called Chicken wings and pork fried rice. I had to give him $1 dollar for having the balls to sing that on the A train in Harlem.

7:15 Ol’ G picks up a sandwich at subway to sneak into the game, hence why he is Ol’ G

7:25 Walking up the steps to the Garden, a scalper is selling tickets to the Knicks game.

He would have a better chance selling mortgages in the Sub-Prime market. For amusement we ask him how much?. A glimmer of hope enters his eye. $60 dollars a piece! We walk away laughing, (Evil Laugh that is)… his hope dies fast.

7:35 We get to our seats. Great seats by the way.

7:37 Cleophus – looks up at the scoreboard – WHAT THE DEUCE, the Knicks are winning. They won their previous game but there is no way they can win two in a row. Can they?

7:50 Cleophus & Ol’ G stick with tradition and play “Who’s the Groupie.” In our section alone, 8 groupies, three mistresses and two wives.

(Sadly, SUPERHEAD was not at the game, but i brought my antibiotics just in case she walks by and breaths on me.)

8:00 What’s going on, no Fire Isaiah Chants, did I bring my shirt for no reason?

8:15 A boring game but the Knick are still winning. The Crowd goes crazy, what did I miss? An alley hoop? A sick Slam dunk? Nope, RW McQuarters and Brandon Jacobs from the NY Giants are in attendance. The place is going wild, the entire Garden is on its feet cheering wildly. I have not heard the garden this loud since the Fade to Black Jay-z concert.

8:30 David Wright of the Mets is also at the game. Not as warm of a reception. He must have felt like he was at Shea, Half cheers and half Boos. Poor David, he just wanted to grab some groupies tonight and he gets booed. Yes, the Knicks are still winning but no one is paying attention.

8:32 One of the Italians from the sopranos was at the game. He was wearing a velour suit, seriously.


8:55 It is obvious the producer has something against Stephon Marburry, (maybe the

producer’s daughter has

been in Stephon’s truck!?) he puts Stephon’s alien like head on the jumbotron,

the BOOS rain down and people began rioting asking for Stephon’s head. (Slight exaggeration, key word SLIGHT!).

9:30 The Knicks are still winning but the fans are not ready to accept they might win two in a row. Is the rapture, really near?

10:00 Alley hoop to David Lee, HOLY CRAP Brandon Jacobs baby mama is a fat white woman. Well, that relationship is not going to last.

10:20 The GARDEN is in complete shock. The KNICKS won… Two games in a row… there is a GOD!

10:45 Cleophus scared for his life decides to go right home instead of going out with the fellas. A Man selling a dozen roses for $5, on the train. I give him $4 and tell him to keep it moving. I give the flowers to Telemundo in hopes I will not get shanked in my sleep. All is good… All is well. I still sleep with one eye open…

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