Friday, February 1, 2008

Just a little something to get you in the mood this weekend....

That guy is the man...watch how those "native american" chicks are all over his jock...

Thursday, January 31, 2008

Mild Throwback: R. Kelly "Real Talk"

This is very old, well not very old, but pretty old. However, after the Berman video today I was trying to remember what was the last video I had watched so many times in one day. This was the winner.





A good question to ask is how far this sets black people back.

Wooooooo!


Chris Berman Loses It

Courtesy of Deadspin


Retro Video Game Review: Paperboy

Justice...Thine name is Paperboy

1988 was the year that the epic story of the Paperboy was finally immortalized in all it's digital glory for the Nintendo Entertainment System. Developed by Atari and released for various game consoles in the 80's, the NES version was by far the most popular. Paperboy allowed kids to take command of the dangerous world that is the life of a paperboy. The object of the game was to deliver papers to all the subscribers and vandalize the non-subscribers (teaching them a valuable lesson that continuing to not subscribe to the paper would leave them open to daily attacks) while avoiding the dangerous conditions of the street. If you damaged a subscribers house they would immedietly cancel their subscription. The only way to win them back was by impressing the neighborhood with a perfect route of 100% delivery accuracy (or pitching a perfect game as the local paperboys refer to it, ask one the next time you see him.. they'll tell you)

The world of the Paperboy was littered with danger though. From remote control cars to dogs the streets where not safe for the Paperboy. Some of the other threats to your route included crazy women with knives, bees, fire hydrants, break dancers (the windmill is a deadly weapon a paperboy must avoid at all costs), cars, skateboarders, tricyclists, construction workers, drunks, a mini tornado, the Grim Reaper, and the most dangerous of them all.......curbs. Once faced with a curb the Paperboy would crumble into a heap on the sidewalk never to be seen again (unless you had more lives then you would just restart the level).

The best part of the game was at the end of each day's routes the town you lived in had a convienient training course where you would leap off ramps, avoid sliding doors, and test your paper throwing acccuary with various hoops. A successful run would give you extra papers for the next days route as well as bonus points and extra lives.

The Paperboy's own brand of justice for those who chose not to subscribe to the paper was brutal and efficient. Broken windows were the least of their problems once the Paperboy was done with them. People would be forced to subscribe just to rid themselves of the daily torture that the paperboy would rain upon them. The Paperboy was extremely serious about his job....deadly serious.

One of the things I always questioned as a kid was when the Paperboy would collide with an object or a person, who he actually die or was he just injured? It would be alot more exciting if a poorly controlled remote control car operated by an 8 year old could actually kill a paperboy. Either way Paperboy was an exciting game that finally gave credit to the little guy.....the Paperboy.

Backcourt Violations


(Caption: Yes I posted about the GSW game just so I could use this outstanding picture)

Minnesota 83, Chicago 67

I wan't to propose a new rule. If you can't score at least 70 points in a game, you automatically start the next game down 15 points. It's embarrassing that an NBA team could only score 67 points in a game. Never mind the fact they were playing an NBA Junior Varsity squad last night. Chicago needs to make a trade right now. Gut the team, don't inflate the value of Deng and Gordon.

Cleveland 84, Portland 83

I think Brandon Roy is an excellent basketball player. But LeBron James is the best basketball player in the NBA. Fools use the Kobe argument (save it). Bron Bron hit the game winner with 0.9 on the clock.

Golden State 116, New Orleans 103

Another gem from Chris Paul (MVP!), but when Bdavis and Stephen Jackson want to win a game, they are going to win said game. Hopefully the addition of notorious malcontent Chris Webber won't hurt them too much. 4 Hornets players put up double doubles, and they still come out with a loss. Can someone explain what GSW needs Webber for?

Utah 100, New York 89

You know things are bad when you lose two starters (Eddy Curry and Quentin Richardson) to the infamous "flu-like symptoms" and thats the main reason this game was closer than it should have been. You should also realize that any time I have the chance to poke a stick at the dead, lifeless hump that is the New York Knicks, I'm going to do it.

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The Bastard Children of Hip Hop Vol 2 - Memphis Bleek


Making Easy Money Pimping Hoes In Style...Memphis Bleek. What in god's name? This entry really doesn't even require much more information. Bleek first appeared on Jay Z's premier album Reasonable Doubt, on the acclaimed track Coming of Age. Bleek set fire to the track, providing the perfect immature foil to Hov's more mature, dollar induced style of hustling. Recognizing the potential in the youngin' Hov stepped down from his narcotics founded pedestal to school the young up and comer. Berating him to focus on business and not bling, Bleek seemed to be taking a lesson not only on how to survive and thrive on the streets, but also as an artist.

Somewhere between then and now that message was lost.

Bleek's career has been an pointless mish-mash of forgettable commercial tracks interspersed with filler songs. In fact, on each of Bleek's four solo projects, the stand out verses came from guest artists. From Hov's verse on The Coming to the solo Jay Z track Dear Summer on 534, Bleek has been kept in the house more than Nas as a youth.

For some reason I picture Bleek sitting in one of Hov's various cribs, constantly rolling up like the weakest link in Beanie's crew in State Property I. If Jay Z had a bad day, I'm sure he struck out at Bleek on more than one occasion.

But nonetheless, Memphis Bleek has managed to avoid the fate of artists like Amil and Sauce Money, maybe due to his willingness to remain at 5'4" his entire life.

Coming of Age f Memphis Bleek
I'm out here slingin bringin the drama, tryin to come up
in the game and add a couple of dollar signs to my name
I'm out here servin disturbin the peace, life could be better
like my man reclined in plush leather seats
He's sellin weight, I'm sellin eight... balls
sixteen tryin to graduate to pushin quarters y'all
I ain't gon' sweat him I'ma let him come to me
If he give me the nod then these niggaz gon' see
I'm tired of bein out here round the clock
and breakin day, and chasin crackers up the block for my pay
I'm stayin fresh, so chickens check
I'm tryin to step up to the next level, pushin Vettes to the Jets
Diamonds reflect from the sun, directly in your equilibirum
and stunned I'm waitin for my day to come
I got the urge, to splurge, I don't wanna lifetime sentence
just give me the word

Chorus

[JZ] Hey fella I been watchin you clockin
[MB] Who me holdin down this block it ain't nothin
You the man nigga now stop frontin
[JZ] Hahahh I like your style
[MB] Nah, I like YO' style
[JZ] Let's drive around awhile
[MB] Cool nigga
[JZ] Here's a thou'
[MB] A G? I ride witchu for free
I want the longterm riches and bitches
[JZ] Have it all; now listen to me
You let them other niggaz get the name, skip the fame
Ten thou' or a hundred G keep yo' shit the same
[MB] On the low?
[JZ] Yeah, the only way to blow
You let your shit bubble quietly
[MB] AND THEN YOU BLOW!
[JZ] Hey keep your cool
The only way to peep a fool is let him show his hand
Then you play your cards
[MB] Then he through dealin I understand
[JZ] Don't blow your dough on hotties
[MB] The only thing I got in this world is my word and my nuts
and won't break em for nobody!
[JZ] Hah, I like resume, pick a day, you can start
[MB] From now until death do us part...
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He loves us all

He loves us all
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