Goodnight Sweet Prince

The thorough bred against a clamor,
or rather,
the porsche vs. a pickup truck.
--Larry Merchant, HBO Sports

And an era comes to a close. Longtime HBO color commentator, Larry Merchant, has either hung up the spikes, or finally bit the bullet. Last night during the return of Roy Jones Jr., Max Kellerman filled in for the greatest mind in the history of boxing. He did a passable job, but Merchant was something special.

Take note of the fan's soliloquy being cut short. "He was robbed, he was URK!"


My favorite part here is the chuckle after the comment...Merchant is certainly drunk at this point of the evening.


Where can I find this hat!?

Part 1 of an 8 part series: Inanimate objects I would like to have sex with

Dear Sasha,

You are so much more than just a George Foreman Lean Mean Grilling Machine to me; you are a part of me. Let’s not play games, baby… I have to get right to the point.

The fact that I made burgers frozen in the cold of winter in you tonight is a dream I never dared dream; you made heaven a reality… with beef. But that’s not all your capable, sweetheart.

You crisp bacon to perfect. You grill hot dogs like a wave of orgasmic pleasure. Chicken breasts are the only set of lovely ta-tas I need with you in my life… topped with barbeque sauce and the joint love between man and machine.

What more are you capable of? Is it selfish of me to even ask? You’ve given me so much already. Dare I try to grill a cheese sandwich between your warm, ridged thighs? I wonder if I can make a smore on your slanty bottom…

…All I know, Sasha, is that you give to me so much more than any woman could ever provide me… you give me food without words. Should every man be so lucky.

Always,
d$