(I went to Haiti and all I got was 4 stitches and a shitload of mosquito bites.)

One pound of marijuana in Haiti: $30 USD.


One gram of cocaine in Haiti (10x more potent than anything that touches American soil): $5 USD.


Ransom collected the last time my boy was kidnapped in Haiti: $40 USD (and a boombox).


Living in a country where the most pressing national issue is determining the exact chemical cocktail that caused the death of one idiot actor: Priceless.

Wooooo! Ric Flair officially endorses Mike Huckabee

You read that correctly America. Not only is the Chuck Norris pain train backing Mike Huckabee's presidential campaign but 'The Nature Boy' himself has hopped on board. At this point does anyone even need to listen to Huckabee's views to know that he's exactly what this country needs? I know I don't...my mind is already made up. Imagine if you will the fear in the eyes of evildoers when forced to choose how they will meet their demise.... a brutal palm thrust to the throat or a knife edge chop to the chest? A dropkick to the midsection or a chop block to the back of the knees? A double spinning reverse roundhouse kick to the back of the head or the figure four leg lock? Death won't be one of the options because that would let said evildoers off the hook far to easy.

Ric Flair: "Mike Huckabee is the Man, Wooooo!"

Do this country a 'solid' and make sure you vote for Mike Huckabee. His thoughts on taxes? Not important. His feelings on the war in Iraq? Who gives a shit. How would he handle the touchy subject of gay marriage? Doesn't really matter. All that matters is two words......NORRIS & FLAIR.

Even if Mike Huckabee doesn't win the election he might just take over the White House and sit in the Oval Office for four years straight. Who's going to remove him with Norris standing in front of the door and Ric Flair's leer jet flying overhead? Nobody...that's who...

GOD BLESS AMERICA